Trashing
Do you think that I am a super woman? A fearless woman who dare to walk into a jungle of unknown and sail to an open sea?
You are totally wrong. I am always constantly live in fear. I am scared of everything, I get really jumpy whenever I heard one of my family members or my pet made strange noises. My get scared whenever I get a phone call from my family members that have never been in touch because usually it means bad news...and usually I didn't pick up the phone and hoping for them to text me so I have time to breathe. I get jittery every time I have to think about my daughter's plan to move to another city. Hard to believe but that is who I am. That is why I am a control freak. In order to be able to stand on my feet, I have to make sure that I have everything under control. Otherwise, everything will break loose and I don't know what to do. And I cannot afford that, my family cannot afford that.
Every day after I finish my bath, I picture myself as a smart, confident career woman. I don't even know who is staring back at me from the mirror. She is my disguise. She is my champ.
I fought my way through the corporate ladder and for some people, this is just a game of thrown. My friend told me that it is not good for my health to be infatuated by my job. Now I know that he was right. They probably didn't even realized how deep they cut my heart and making me bleed. I wish they know how hard it is to fight on your own and have no one to talk to when you feel that your shoulder couldn't carry the burden anymore. I wish they know...how much it hurts. To be lonely and alone altogether.
I am scared and confused. I am lost. I don't know where to go and all I can do is sit and pray and hoping that somehow, I know what to do and figure my way out of this calamity.
Or perhaps, the next time I look at the reflection in the mirror, I will tell her that it is time to kill the birds. She is much more powerful than myself. She has the power, she has the aura, she has the brain. I shouldn't stand in her way. I should let her play her game. She is not me, she is better than me.
Let the gladiator be unleashed.
You are totally wrong. I am always constantly live in fear. I am scared of everything, I get really jumpy whenever I heard one of my family members or my pet made strange noises. My get scared whenever I get a phone call from my family members that have never been in touch because usually it means bad news...and usually I didn't pick up the phone and hoping for them to text me so I have time to breathe. I get jittery every time I have to think about my daughter's plan to move to another city. Hard to believe but that is who I am. That is why I am a control freak. In order to be able to stand on my feet, I have to make sure that I have everything under control. Otherwise, everything will break loose and I don't know what to do. And I cannot afford that, my family cannot afford that.
Every day after I finish my bath, I picture myself as a smart, confident career woman. I don't even know who is staring back at me from the mirror. She is my disguise. She is my champ.
I fought my way through the corporate ladder and for some people, this is just a game of thrown. My friend told me that it is not good for my health to be infatuated by my job. Now I know that he was right. They probably didn't even realized how deep they cut my heart and making me bleed. I wish they know how hard it is to fight on your own and have no one to talk to when you feel that your shoulder couldn't carry the burden anymore. I wish they know...how much it hurts. To be lonely and alone altogether.
I am scared and confused. I am lost. I don't know where to go and all I can do is sit and pray and hoping that somehow, I know what to do and figure my way out of this calamity.
Or perhaps, the next time I look at the reflection in the mirror, I will tell her that it is time to kill the birds. She is much more powerful than myself. She has the power, she has the aura, she has the brain. I shouldn't stand in her way. I should let her play her game. She is not me, she is better than me.
Let the gladiator be unleashed.
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